Returning to B'more...I make some time for my "twin". Hi, Muff!!! We head to our usual hangout spot (Arundal Mills) to catch a movie. Before this, we do some more shopping. I'm saying we...but it's really more like she's shopping with my money. Oh well. After picking up some items that will keep a smile on her face...and grabbing a bite to eat, we partake in our weekly ritual known as...Movie Watching!!!
This being her week to choose the movie...we engage in the movie that was #1 at the box office this weekend, barely beating out Rambo while grossing 19 million. MEET THE SPARTANS!!!
Meet the Spartans, basically a parody of an excellent film...The 300, tells the tale of a bumbling King Leonidas (Sean Maquire), ruler of Sparta. The proud Spartans are converted into a bunch of unknowingly homosexual warriors who dance around into battle holding hands. These proud Spartan men also greet each other by tongue kissing...but they greet their woman with high five handshakes. What the fuck?! In this embarassment of a movie, King Leonidas leads his 13 warriors into battle to save Sparta from a nasty looking 289 pound slob of a King Xerses (Ken Davitian) who himself commands a huge army of about 15 men and a blue screen. SMH......If that wasn't enough to persuade me into making an early exit, the movie also features slap jobs on American Idol (Simon, Paula, & Randy), Britney Spears (she actually sounds better in this movie), and YOU GOT SERVED...or was it STOMP THE YARD (Method Man...please stick to starring on THE WIRE!!!). Granted, Carmen Electra (Queen Margo) looked rather do-able, that still could not bring me to like anything about this movie. I know all about slap stick humor. Leslie Nielson did it wonderfully with Police Squad (A movie that was actually funny) and the Wayans Brother's Scarie Movie 1 & 2 wasn't bad. But dumb humor isn't funny...it's just dumb. I was dumb for going to see this mockery of a movie. And trust me...you will be dumb if you go see it after reading this post!!!
Meet The Spartans. Rating = Skunk aka bad piff!
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